Revision 1 of Chapter 1 is complete

Fellow writers:

After many revision passes, I have decided to post my new version of chapter 1 of my book: Black, White and Shades of Gray.

It pulled in part of the original chapter 2, and has a lot of new material. PLEASE feel free to make comments, bleed on it, point out flaws (I found several during revision), etc.

You won't hurt my feelings if you offer criticism, constructive or otherwise. An honest critique is much more beneficial than a simple "I like it."

You can read at your leisure, but please don't feel pressured to do so.

The post is here:http://blackwhiteandshadesofgray.blogspot.com/

Thanks and Happy Writing!

Dave

Waving Hello, and Let's Take a Poll

Hellooooooo!!

I haven't said much since dear Dave invited me here. In fact, this is my first "real" post.

Hello to everyone! It's so wonderful to have a community of writers. So maybe we'd better get about the business of "having a community."

Here's my idea (please hold your applause until the end):

Answer this post with the following information about yourself:

1. Name or Pen Name
2. Book writers: What is your genre?
3. Other writers: What are you pursuing? (e.g. short stories, magazine articles, etc.)
4. What is your current WIP?
5. What steps, if any, have you taken toward publication?
6. What do you need the MOST from this community?
7. What do you feel you have to OFFER?

I do hope everyone will participate! This blog has so much potential.

The Veil of Youth

"Mommy, I think Horatio is dead." My daughter was standing in the kitchen holding the small green fish net in one hand.

"He’s floating on his back up top," she said, "and when I touched him he didn’t move."
So it had finally happened.

Horatio had been won in a ring toss game when the carnival came through town. Was it two months ago, or three? It didn’t really matter, because the fish had been with them long enough for both of the children to get attached.

"Does your brother know?" I asked. She shook her head.

Peggy was older and understood how the death of pets worked. She had lost a hamster already in her young life. Scott, however, had never even HAD a pet before he got Horatio. I wasn’t sure how he would handle it.

"So," I said to Peggy. "We have two choices. We can flush Horatio down the potty and tell Scott that he ran away...."

"Or," Peggy asked, trying to sound serious and not smile.

"Or, we can tell Scott that Horatio died, then have a little funeral for him."
"Funeral," Peggy said.

And it was decided.

I called Scott in from outside where he had been examining the trees in the back yard, trying to find one good for a tree-house.

He took Horatio’s death in stride.

He cried, like children will, but he seemed excited about the prospect of a burial. It was something NEW and NEW, in his 6 year old mind, meant FUN.

He rushed off to get an old cigar style crayon box. He put some of the rocks from Horatio’s tank in it, then Horatio, and he picked a spot in the garden, close to the juvenile tomato plants, to burry him.

We each said a few words over him.

"Horatio was a good fish." I said. "I knew it just as soon as the lady handed him to us at the carnival. And he didn’t smell bad or make messes like some animals do. I’ll miss him."

Peggy said, "I remember when we first put him in the fish tank, and he got stuck against the filter. He flapped and flapped so hard and it was scary, but it was funny to because he looked so silly."

When it was Scott’s turn he stood for a long time looking down at the lump of dirt that used to be his fish.

"Bye-bye Horatio," he said then looked up at me and said, "Mommy, can we get a puppy dog now?"

It must be nice to be so young, when grief can be so fleeting.

Hello, and a Flash Fiction

I just wanted to take a moment to thank Dave for the invitation to join you all here, and to introduce myself to those who don't know me, which is probably everyone else.

I’m Nona. I’m 24 years old and have been writing since about the 6th grade. I do occasionally try to sell something, and submit occasionally to online magazines, but so far there has only been one bite, and it was non-paying. Mainly I do it for the fun of it, writing as a hobby, and I figure if I keep it up long enough I’m bound to impress someone enough to get them to pay me for it.

Feel fee to ask me whatever you want, and you can always visit my Writers Notebook blog to see what I write but don’t share here.

And I may as well jump in and share something. This one is just a little flash fiction. Not too many words in me tonight.

THE FLY FRIGHT

When I opened my mouth to sing, a fly flew in. That was no big deal. When your mouth is open as much as mine is, you're bound to house in it an insect or two.

The problem was that the fly decided to explore that particular crevice just as I took a deep breath, and I had a six legged thing buzzthumping down my throat.

*cough*
*gasp*
*choke*

"What the hell was that?"

That wasn't me, that was the fly, loud and angry from somewhere in my belly.

It took 3 bottles of water to shut him up.

Where is Everyone?

I have checked constantly since Christmas, and no one has been by. I trust you all are back to the hustle and bustle of your daily lives. I, however, remain unemployed and therefore have plenty of time for blogging and reading stories and writing.

I have found a site called Zoetrope.com where you can post your stories and get feedback from other writers. I have tried it, and for the most part, like it. I have gotten some solid information from it. Some critiques were obviously from novice or young writers, but that is ok. I like to see young people have a hankering for writing.

Thanks Lisa for pointing me to this site. Looking forward to reading more of your work. And maybe getting up enough gumption to post mine. Take care.